I met you and fell into a hurricane. Wind and rain and gray swirled around me as I tumbled and spun and was thrust from one storm edge to the other. I reached out my hands to hold steady and found nothing but churning movement slipping through my fingers.
The sound was ringing in my ears – your name, your name, your name, shouted over and over through the pouring of rain and the whistling of wind. You said your name and it was a thunderclap in my ears. To this day it’s all I can hear.
My ears were ringing and my arms flailed. You came near and touched my skin – my skin pelted by water, scratched by debris, fully awake in the cold so cold it felt like fire. It was your hands on me that brought the storm’s embrace.
The rain was clear and the wind unseen as they tossed me as their play thing through the night. My life was perfect blackness until your eyes caught mine and lighting filled the sky. Your eyes – two perfect lightning bolts – split open the night and brought forth day.
It was the thunder of your name, the wind in your touch, the lighting of your eyes. The storm was all of you and you were all of the storm.
Across the sky I flew in never-ending circles, tugged forwards and backwards by the force of your life in mine. Energy, tumult, driving rain and rushing wind. Further and further through the hurricane I spiraled down.
You drew me in in violence of weather, in natural destruction. You drew me in in the shattering reality that can only be love.
The storm took me and held me and pushed me further and further in. It drove and drove, until I found my final end. The hurricane used its chaos to leave me floating in the center of its calm.
I fall back against the unseen air that carries me through. The wind loses its coldness and becomes your hot breath on mine. Your shouting name through the downpour becomes a soothing whisper in my ear. The lighting fire in your eyes casts my heart in silver.
I dwell in the middle of the hurricane, the swirling and the falling and the churning now giving way to rest. I am calm. I am safe. I am at peace, floating in the middle of the storm.
I let go of the clutching of nothing. I let rain wash away the dirt from my skin. I let wind hold me firmly upward.
I hear your name. I feel your touch. I see your eyes. The hurricane rages on all around me, but my life is weightless in the center of you.
Partly inspired by one of my favorite love songs,
the video of which is perhaps my all-time favorite music video:
“The Perfect Drug,” by Nine Inch Nails.