Wrong

“There is nothing else,”
So I turn away
From colors, from sounds, from eyes that see
To grayness and a blank
Placed for those who are not sated.

“You were wrong,”
I know
(And you’ll never let me forget it),
So I draw out the blade
Over the last of untouched skin.
“You were wrong,” you repeat,
“To offer any sacrifice.”

No sacrifice,
No sincerely-I-do love,
No level of child’s understanding,
No effort
To counter your “This is all there is.”

“I’ve said it all,”
So I turn to look
For answers purposely withheld
Behind shadows made by light
I should have known better than to leave.

“You were wrong,”
I know it,
“To ask for anything more,”
Everything more that you won’t let me forget,
While I crawl forward,
Bloody knees and hands,
Just to hear you say my blood’s unclean.

No penance,
No repentance,
No hope,
No innocence
To counter your “This is all I’ll say.”

 

Blood,
Blade-touched skin,
Swirled and mixed and shaken
To burst forth into more
Unanswered-by-you thoughts.

 

“You were wrong,”
(I know),
“To want anything at all.”

Wrong in the chase
Wrong in the hope;
Wrong in the trust
That my mind was meant to be.

Wrong in the trying
Wrong in the fight;
Wrong in the eyes wanting to see
And the ears wanting to hear
And a being wanting to fully be.

 

“There is nothing else.”
Nothing?
“This is all there is.”

So I turn,
Slink away from your sight,
To hide in the blankness –
Stilled tongue,
Stilled mind,
Stilled life –
My blood wrapped in wrongness
Under your
“There is nothing more that I will give.”

 

Song: “Get Born Again,” by Alice in Chains.
Watch the official video here.

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5 thoughts on “Wrong

  1. You mentioned on your Facebook page that this was an attempt to be more brave. I can’t think of any words you have written before this that qualify bravery more than this post. I read this yesterday but it was one I felt I really needed to re-read, and to listen to the song when I was properly prepared to have the two interactions simultaneously without distraction. It is powerful and bravery? Yeah…you have mountains of it.

    Liked by 1 person

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